| Destination: Beautiful |
[09 Sep 2003|03:11am] |
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beyond ecstatic or joyful. |
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MAE |
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You know what?
I love my life.
Sure, I have my bad days, days where all can think about is how much of a failure I am. Days where all I can see, is everything falling apart. I have those emo moments, where all I want to do is sit in a dark room. I have my mornings when I am so tired, I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. Sure, I have my nights where I can’t sleep, when I lay in my bed pondering everything I wish I could change.
We all do.
But I love my life. I love my life because I have a God that assures me that everything will be okay. I love that I have someone to pray to, that will always listen. I love that God has taken every burden off my back, and has given me a reason to live. He is so unthinkably astonishing, mystifying, and extraordinarily amazing in so many ways that words cannot express. I love that no matter what my life becomes on this earth, or how often I forget him, God will still love me. I love being loved.
I love having a family to live with. I love that they all stay up till wee hours of the morning. I love eating my mom’s spaghetti and the cheese toast with tomatoes she used to make for me every morning. I love that my mom will always be there for me, even though I’m not always the best daughter. I love that my dad has taught me so many lessons, half of them he’s not even aware he’s teaching. I love my sister and the way she gives me lobster hugs. I love that even though I’m the pesty little sister, she’ll always be willing to shout five iron frenzy songs with me.
I love living so close to the beach. I love that I am able to watch the sunrise whenever I want. I have the ability to enjoy the splendor of the combination of the sky, clouds, beaming sun, and shining ocean, all at once. I love finding unbroken shells in the sand.
I love that I have a roof over my head. I love music. I love words. I love poems. I love photography. I love my bible. I love that there is so much joy to laugh about, that so many moments of my life are spent laughing so hard about things that I can barely breathe.
I love that just by being silly I can bring about a smile on someone’s face. I love all those goodtimes I had while riding the city bus. I love that bums don’t care what kind of clothes you are wearing, or what stereo type you fit into. I love my school, even though I can’t stand it at the same time. I love that I am given the opportunity to take an amazing culinary class. I love that each year I meet more people that bring smiles on my face and make me laugh.
I love my shelf of rhino’s. I love my collection of Cd’s. I love my old tree house. I love waking up with my blinds open. I love eating lemons. I love how we always have whipped cream in the Deland house.
I love going to shows. I love being part of a crazy crowd. I am fascinated by the sound of music beating in my ear, far beyond hearing. I love truly listening to and analyzing music. I love the smell of a fresh mosh-pit. I love that I had the chance to go to the greatest festival EVER in Bushnell, IL. I love the people I met at cornerstone, I love the ones I still keep in touch with. I love road trips.
I love the little things that make me chuckle. How everyone puts their away message up, and never really is at the computer. I love when people call my house, even if they have nothing to say. I love dried roses. I love lying in tall grass with long pants on and I love picking yellow flowers.
I love big things too. Big things are a compilation of the perfection of small things. They are even better than small things.
I love the guitar. I love hammer-ons. I love harmony. I love music.
I love my past family vacations. Like the time we stopped at the Marriott just to ride the glass elevator. And the time we saw a HUGE hill, and pulled over to roll down it. When we spontaneously decided to drive to Ohio, and played tag in the corn fields. I love the tree in my granny’s yard. I love the style of every house in New England.
I love prayer. The bond between a prayer is deeper than a typical conversation. It’s a quest of love, hope, faith, and trust, no matter what the topic.
I love that every summer I travel up the East Coast to Massachusetts and New Hamster. I love that I have made life-long friendships with people who live 1600 miles away.
I love going thrifting and finding the raddest things for cheap.
I love that I have the most wonderful friends, who are willing to give me rides around the world, and pass notes everyday in the classes I hate. They are such an impact of my life. I share so many remarkable memories with them. I love each conversation that brings me closer. I love the people who have the best arms to put around me when I need to feel comfort. I love the people that understand those bad days and don't hold it against me when I get a little crazy.
I love when my friends love God just as much as I do.
I love that I've experienced loss. I love that I've experienced pain. I love that I've been lonely. From all those I've gained new knowledge and ability to understand.
I love that I even when things are crappy, I can still count my blessings.
To you, these may be meaningless words of flowers and bunny’s. My life may not be world tours and supercalafragelistebestialedocious and it may not be as exciting as running rampant crime sprees, or fascinating to anyone but me, but my life is very fulfilling.
Yes, I love my life.
-Linda Marie Partain
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| skyline drive. |
[02 Sep 2003|02:52am] |
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This weekend was filled with all kinds of great converstations.
good conversations make me smile. you make me smile. my friends make me smile. the fact that i have to be awake in 4.5 hours make me chuckle.
yellow
peace, love and if the skyline looks this way then I don't want to sleep tonight.
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| why is everything falling apart? really, why? |
[31 Aug 2003|01:34am] |
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when the hero dies |
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Things were going so great. Thursday I slept over Deanna’s. Friday I had breakfast at Waffle House with Deanna, Andrew, and Sam. Last night I got a new road sign, learned the Australian waltz under a street light in the middle of a cul-de-sac, and I saw 2 shooting stars. Today I had an old school friend show up at my door so we could catch up on life….
….but the fact that I miss my mom isn’t going away. I’ve been momless for about 3 weeks now. All I want to do if give my mom a big bear hug. Things aren’t going well in her parts of town. The car broke down and it's not going to make it home. She’s currently in DeLand. It’s so close, yet so far. I want my mom back!
peace, love, and the worst part of waking up, is waking up without you.
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| tonight was the best traffic jam i've ever been in. i just hope you didn't get in trouble |
[27 Aug 2003|01:00am] |
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armor for sleep |
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my first day back was great. andrew came over and i got 2 more road signs. YIPPEE. a couple hours later, deanna and ethan came over. we ate and line danced in the parking lot with very loud country.
the second day of school was good. it was great to see everyone again. i'm totally looking forward to every social aspect of school. that's what school is all about, right?
i'm going to spend less and less time on this dumb computer. even though it's an easy way of comminucation, and i use it to contact so many people...i think i'm going to lay low for a while. if i don't comment on your journal entries....it's not because i hate you, it's because i hate my computer.
Peace, Love, and This is the end of rotting away
(armor for sleep is wicked good)
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| I hope that your heart’s always warm |
[25 Aug 2003|09:24am] |
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dashboard & five iron |
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So long sweet summer
I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays
So long sweet summer
I fell into you
Now you’re gracefully falling away
i'm in georgia now. we have a slight change of plans. my mom will be staying here for a couple days. and i'll be flying home at 3. so i'll be home around like 4:30. that works out pretty well. flying is fun. and i'll be home quicker than i anticipated. woot!
hey.....right now, i should be in school. i would be in my first hour class. 15 minutes into it. english III i think. ha ha....but i have the privilage of still being on vacation! vacation is fun. i want to go home, but i don't want to go home. make sense?
peace, love, and every new day.
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| *sigh* loverly |
[23 Aug 2003|12:41pm] |
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wow. all i can say is wow!!!! camp is one of the greatest things EVER!!! AMAZING!!!funny, how when i go, i become so close with people. i become with so close with people who are so different. the differences are big, and if i was at home i would prolly never make friends with them. i regret that. i'm going to change that. i mean, i've always tried to be friendly. but there is a big difference with being friendly and being a friend.
i can't wait to get home. although i utterly love this place, i sure do miss my friends and the beach and all the other things that go along with home. i'll be missing the first day of school. i'll be back monday night.
this summer has been wicked rad.
peace, love, and i write to remember
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| everything i wicked. wicked cool. wicked awesome. wicked good. blah blah blah |
[08 Aug 2003|09:19pm] |
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TwoThirtyEight |
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Road Trip Update #3
last night was crazy. me and my mom are NOT big fans of rainy New Jersey nights. after we checked into the hotel we met up with 2 of Lisa's friends from college. goodtimes.
We made it to Massachusetts today. My mom will be staying here at my grampa's house, while i go to camp. Tomorrow is bright and early....next stop New Hampster! woot! i'm so stoked. this is an awesome way to end the summer. *shreeks of happiness*
peace, love, and missing you dearly.
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| the goofy shirt. HA! |
[06 Aug 2003|10:24pm] |
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Road Trip Update #2
we arrived in NC around 4:30-ish. i got to spend some time with my beloved kimmy. we've known each other for 9 years! rockin. ha ha ha...MARSHMELLOW FIGHT!!! that was fun. like 30 kids. i have never thrown so many marshmellow at people. we had some water fights too. goodtimes. definitely goodtimes. we're heading out pretty early in the morning. next stop Pennsylvania! (i think)
peace, love, and hulk water guns!
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| ataris? again!??! nah, i just wanted to talk about road signs and rock songs. |
[05 Aug 2003|09:47pm] |
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Road Trip update #1
So I’ve been on the road for the first day. It’s been a bit rainy, but manageable. Next stop is NC. The scenery should be pretty, unlike the highways of the NEVERENDING state of Florida. (It takes forever and a day to get out of Florida)
I forgot to say that I’ll be at camp on the 9th-22nd.
peace, love and road signs + rock songs
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| goodbye, so long, farwell, i won't be seeing you again until next time... |
[03 Aug 2003|05:37pm] |
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Ataris |
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Camp was great. The food was so good. Everything about camp was good, except getting no sleep. HA! But everything is funny at 2 a.m.
I won’t be on this computer much. I’m taking a road trip with my momma to Massachusetts and New Hamster. I’m leaving tomorrow. I’ll be back when school starts. I want to stay here, but I want to leave at the same time. NH is sooo much fun. I’m going to have a blast.
HEY! WRITE ME WHILE I’M GONE! Please! I’m going to miss everyone so much and I want to know what you’re up to, so please send a letter or two at:
Linda Partain
Camp Berea
68 Berea Road
Hebron, NH 03241
You can send e-mails too. http://www.berea.org/contact/guest/ (event is “teen camp”) E-mails are so great to get. They’re easy to send so send one like everyday. Don’t forget me while I’m gone.
Comment with your address so I can send you a letter!
Peace, Love, and Last night, i had a dream, that we went to DisneyLand, went on all the rides, didn't have to wait in line...
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| I.O.U. one galaxy |
[26 Jul 2003|12:11am] |
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cheerful |
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I am the luckiest person alive. Yesterday I was feeling all sad and horrible for crashing the car. It just seemed like one more thing to add to the list broken things. Around 9 o’clock there was an unexpected knock at the door. It was a surprise visit by my wonderful friends. They treated me at Jaxsons and then to the beach. Thank you so much for cheering me up. What a great night, it was so much fun!!!! This summer has been full of all kinds of new and exciting things. I am seriously surrounded by the best people EVER.
My daddy fixed my bike!!! YIPEE!!
Hey, how was warped tour?
Peace, Love and Stars are out tonight, and you’re the brightest one shining in my sky.
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| wishful thinking? |
[25 Jul 2003|04:22pm] |
I sit here…. wondering what to type. I wish I could spit out an inspirational post. I wish I could write about how good my day was yesterday. I wish I could write about how much fun my summer has been. But I can’t. Why can’t I? BECAUSE I CONTINUE TO SUCK AT LIFE!! I just keep screwing up over and over and over again. I’m sick of it! I’m sick of screwing up, I’m sick of causing problems, I’m sick of making people cry, I’m sick of being a bad luck charm.
I’ve always been one to believe that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it seems so impossible to find good out of crap. The more I think about it, the more it makes that sense. Every so often I forget about what this life is about. It’s not about having fun, or having minimum problems. It’s not about fitting in, or finding that significant other. It’s not about having money or cars, or computers, or any materialistic thing. It’s simply a waiting room. I’m waiting to spend the rest of my life in perfection with the only one who has always been there for me. I’m waiting to spend eternity in heaven, without tears, without pain, without loneliness, without rejection, without stress, without a hint of sadness. So that’s the secret to my madness. Without Jesus, I’d still be crying.
Even though I am so incredible sick and tired of everything falling apart. I’m sick of each problem making everything worse. I can rest in peace knowing that each day is one step closer to everything I adore.
Peace, Love, and Some would say tomorrow is just one step closer to death, I’d say tomorrow is just one step closer to life.
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| COWBOY…..TROGDOR!!!!!!! |
[22 Jul 2003|02:53am] |
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Change of plans: my mom told me I was leaving for camp this week, but I looked at the paper and it says NEXT week. That bites. It really does. It was perfect timing, but now I’ll be gone when you get home.
Tonight I went out to wings and curls. Lots of people showed up. good ol’ amie and julie and matt and kerri and troy. Next time we’ll sing. ha ha. Afterwards Kerri and me went to oasis to check out a band. They were good, kind of a funk/rock/mellow type band. I hate oasis, kind of like how I hate PIS. but anyway, we went to tat’s house to chill. Man, I haven’t seen her all summer. heehee.....we made bracelets. *smiles*
Did you know that you yawn b/c your brain doesn't have enough oxygen?
Peace, Love, and you are my sunshine, my only sunshine (not bright eyes)
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| If I spot you across a dirty dinner I’ll be waving |
[20 Jul 2003|05:39pm] |
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TwoThirtyEight |
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Friday night I had dinner with my mom and troy. It was cool. I was a little mute. Hopefully he’ll be joining us for wings and curls. I was supposed to be home at nine, but I was a little late. Andrew came to pick me up and we went downtown and walked around. There wasn’t much to do there so we went to the beach. It was avalanchin, we went on the top of that crazy tall building. ha ha, story time with Andrew!
Danielle came home from Brazil. She got me the raddest bracelets and crazy Brazilian chocolate. Banana chocolate? Strange.
Today, after church, I was sitting in the front room listening to music. The doorbell rang. I opened the door and see my old old old neighbor. He moved to Georgia about 5 years ago, and I haven’t seen him since. At first I was shocked and blank, then I was like AHHHHH. It was so unexpected. It brought back a so many childhood memories!
I leave for camp tomorrow at 6:30. I’ll be back in a week.
Peace, Love, and this town will eat you!
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| Do roses have thorns or do thorns have roses? |
[18 Jul 2003|02:33pm] |
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underoath |
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Hey, does anyone know how to fix a bike? The chain on the bike fell off and the gears are messed up. arg!
So I’ve been working at VBS for the past week. I’m glad it’s Friday, I don’t think I could have taken another day with 5 kids hanging on each arm at all moments.
Wednesday- worked in hot hot sun. *wipes forehead* I got home just in time to go to the meeting for camp. When I got home from that, Lisa had people over. we all went to Chili’s.
Thursday- went downtown to work some more. When I was finished with that, Lisa and me went to the beach and took crazy pictures from the roof of a crazy tall building. At 11-ish we went to Miami too check out the suped up cars. Cops were at every corner. It was insane.
Man, it’s crazy how a day can be really good, and really really bad at the same time. my whole week has been like that.
"and I dreamt of you" is such an amazing song.
peace, love, and where fairy tales come true
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| Thanks for lending your hand. |
[15 Jul 2003|11:36pm] |
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american football |
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I cost money. I cost time. I cause stress. I cause trouble. Gee, sometimes I can really suck at life. I’m sorry.
On a brighter notes, I came home from my trip last night. I went to worship on the beach. :), chilled at ashley’s house, then went swimming in joe’s pool. It was a good night.
I didn’t get a very good night’s rest. In fact, It didn’t feel like I fell asleep at all. I got out of bed pretty early and helped at VBS. Little kids are fun. When that was over I headed to the beach. I couldn’t stay for long. After I left, things went downhill from there. but I’ll leave all that out. As soon as I got home, I fell asleep. I figured if I slept I wouldn’t have to think about much.
I won’t be going on the computer very much. The phone got disconnected. If you need to get in touch with me call 954 921 4135
I think I’ll go back to sleep.
Coldplay is a great band to fall asleep to. As well as bright eyes, jars of clay, american football and mellow twothirtyeight.
Peace, Love, and Haligh, Haligh, Haligh
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| thank you for keeping my mind off the things i don't want to ponder. |
[13 Jul 2003|11:34pm] |
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coldplay |
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I thought things were getting better.
I was wrong
why is he so angry? why does he do the things he does? why doesn’t he do the things he doesn’t? why is it always someone else’s fault? why can’t I help? I can only understand so much. I can ask him why he never learns, but then again, neither do I.
i come home in 1 day!! first stop....the beach. be there or be [square]
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| it's the moment after the moment |
[12 Jul 2003|01:19am] |
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impulsive |
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the crappy TV with 4 channels |
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painting....one room down. 2 more to go.
i got the LAST pair of black flip flops for $1.94.
everyone went to the movies. Kerri and Mac dressed as pirates. i'm so jealous. :P i'm not sure if the movie is my style of movie though. i'm not a big fan of movies to begin with. i don't even know what it's about. i just want to dress like a pirate! ha ha
...count down. 3 more days.
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| goodbye |
[09 Jul 2003|11:24pm] |
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thursday |
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The past couple of days rocked! I had so many awesome conversations. I learned so much. The 2nd best part was the beach. The sand was like powder. I found massive amounts of sand dollars in the water. It was crazy…to pick them out of the water and see them alive. The sunset was beautiful. HUGE sun. awesomeness.
I’m leaving for Deland tonight. People should come visit. I’m not kidding. Pack a car full of people and come. Everyone is always looking for things to do…and there is NOTHING to do in south florida anymore. There’s tons of things to do in orlando. I’ve got a couple plans up my sleeve. I’m dead serious. Call (386) 801-6151 to get directions.
My dog died tonight. I walked outside to feed him, and he was laying there…lifeless. We buried him in the backyard. Poor oscar. He looks so sad.
_______________________________
EDIT: i need to punch something. i'm about to go insane. he is driving me insane!!! i am going mad, crazy go nuts. i'm usually not easily irritated, but tonight i just can't take his crap any longer. i need one of those stress balls. *clenches teeth* make it go away. by the way, screaming into a pillow does not work.
why am i so easily irritated tonight? maybe i should convince myself to have a good attitude. think happy things linda! think about that time when...*fill in the blank*
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lemonlips127's journal
sleepy